Days In The Life Of A Short Green Haired Midget
by Silv3r Ang3l
Summary: What happens at the White Tiger Hills when the White Tiger team is there? What happens when Kevin writes his own diary? What is Mystel doing there?
1. Yes,it is my birthday today!

**Basic Info:** This is Kevin's diary while he staying at the White Tiger village with his team mates. Set sometime after G-revolution.

**Warnings:** Yaoi Hints. Little swearing. Some OOCness. Randomness. That'd be it.

**Pairings**: Tala/Kai,Ray/Mariah so far.

**Disclaimer:** I own Brooklyn and Mystel. I use them as my puppets. And yes,my friends can borrow them anytime. **XD**

**Author's Notes: **I write in the same style_ Purple-Kissed-Wishes _has written "Confessions of a Blader" and now "Chronicles of Max". Also,_ShadowCelebi _makes an excellent work in the diary style with her "Eye of the Tiger" fic. So,go and read their stories also** :-)**

**One more Note: Purple-Kissed-Wishes has come up with the tittle. Until someone else (or me) think of a better title,it stays XD  
**

**

* * *

**

Tuesday,25th May 2006.

10:30 in the am

Hi,I'm Kevin...

that little green haired dude from White Tigers.

Yes,that's me.

Wanna know why I'm writing a diary?

Because I can,I can,I can,I can!!!

10:31

Alright,the real reason is this:

The earth is flat.

No,I'm serious.

10:32

Hold on,what were we talking about that?

Oh,yes.

The purpose of this diary.

I'm writing this in order to show to my beloved readers how...

"KEVIIIIIIN!!!"

Who's voice is that?

"Keeeevin!!!"

Maybe he is the little red riding hood.

Ha,ha,ha,ha.

"Kevin!"

Oh,what the hell?

"Who is it?"

"Kevin,what are you doing?" Mariah asks me.

I think she looks pissed.

"You look pissed" I say and look at the pinkness she is.

"Food is ready"

Well,that brought a smile in my face.

10:36

I am now walking next to Mariah.

We are walking toward Ray's house.

For some weird reason,Ray own his own house.

That's because he is now eighteen.

Yes,he is.

Him and Lee to be exact.

And maybe Gary.

I will get back to you on that one.

Mariah is now seventeen and some months.

I'm seventeen and some minutes.

Take a wild guess...

Yes,it is my birthday today!

And I decided that the only thing missing from my life is...

A DIARY!

10:40

Food smells nice.

Gifts look nice.

Gary is eating.

Mariah is still pissed.

10:40 and a half

I think she realized that Ray is utterly gay.

He is barely gay to be exact.

He likes cooking and cleaning.

He is gay.

I knew you would agree with me.

10:50

I was eating.

Fast.

Take another wild guess.

Yes,Gary is eating next to me.

Why is Gary always sitting next to me?

It makes me looks short.

I'm not short.

Don't try to change my mind.

I'm not short.

I'm just not tall.

Now,that this is clear I can go back to food.

11:01

I shouldn't have eaten so much.

My stomache hurts.

I bet it's cause of the cherries.

Or the strawberries.

I'm having the feeling that I didn't had a normal breakfast.

11:02

I just realized that Lee is not here.

Lee was not here...

How can he abandon me like that?

Lee...

Where are you,Lee?

11:04

He's up in the trees.

With Mystel.

Yes,the blonde who looks like he's constantly up to something.

And he's hyper.

I've been told that I shouldn't trust people who are always smiling.

Because they are always up to something.

Maybe Mystel is plotting world domination.

11:05

He is!

I knew it!

Don't ask me how I know it though.

Clearly,I don't really know.

But I can fool you,can't I?

11:10

Lee is now approaching me holding a large white plate in his hands.

There are some random green things in there.

I would love to believe that those are vegetables.

Or at least plain grass.

But since Lee holds that plate I'm determinate d not to touch it.

Now,it's the best moment to run around like a maniac.

11:12

Mystel is pissing me off.

He does everything I do.

He runs around like a complete maniac screaming "I got cherries"

Everybody knows that I love cherries.

Don't they?

**DON'T THEY?**

11:16

Apparently,they don't.

Mariah is now laughing at him.

Or with him.

I would certainly be laughing at him if he was trown in the river or something like that.

11:23

I pushed Mystel to the river!

Mariah gave me a death glare.

Ray told her she looked like Kai.

She gave him a more evil glare.

And she's now tapping her foot on the grass.

11:25

Have I told you that after all the eating we all went outside?

Well,I do now.

Obviously.

Quite obviously.

Otherwise we wouldn't find Lee.

Among the bees.

11:30

I just realized that bees have surrounded our territory.

I think that's the best moment to leave this place.

And go inside the safety of my own home.

11:46

I am now inside the safety of my own home.

Dad and Mum are strangely looking at me.

I should demand my gifts now.

"Where are my gifts?"

I made sure I had Mariah's sweet smile on my face.

My Dad looks bored.

His name is Klaatu by the way.

Don't ask.

11:47

My Mum's name is Meifeng.

It means beautiful wind in Chinese.

We are Chinese.

Did you know that?

wind

12:00 in the pm

I got my gifts.

It was one gift.

One big gift.

A gigantic one gift.

12:01

I got a white fluffy male bunny for my birthday.

I named him _Rasputin_.

That makes me happy.

That makes me very happy.

"That makes you very gay"

WHO SAID THAT?

12:02

Mystel...

BASTARD!

Something white is behind him.

12:03

It is Brooklyn.

Hasn't he gone to a mental asylum or something?

Did Mystel read what I wrote before?

CURSE HIM!

12:04

He's laughing.

I'm having the feeling that he's still reading what I'm writing.

Maybe because I have placed my notebook in my desk.

And he's sitting on the desk next to me.

Brooklyn is staying behind him looking....

Normal.

12:30

I show Mystel everything I wrote.

He's still laughing.

But I was afraid if I didn't,Brooklyn would do something to me.

Brooklyn scares me.

So does Tala.

But he's not here.

Kai visits from time to time.

And Tala comes with him.

I think they are together.

12:31

I think I want more cherries.

I'll go and find some.

12:56

I'm now in the kitchen,eating cherries.

I'm writing in my diary also.

You didn't actually think that I could write and eat at the same time?

Well,I'm multi-talented.

12:57

I just realized with my tiny little brain that Brooklyn and Mystel are still in my room.

12:58

Maybe they are moving in with me.

12:59

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

3:32 in the pm.

Wonder what I was doing all those hours?

I was trying to throw the two stalkers out of my room.

When they finally left my room my Mum show them and decided that they should stay with us for a while even if I kept telling her that I don't want them to.

She called me stubborn and rude.

So I went to Ray for help.

He kicked me out of his house because he wanted some lovey dovey time with his _girl._

I still believe he is gay though.

3:33 

Whoa,too many three's in one sentence.

Is time and dates a sentence?

They must be.

3:41

back to my original point.

Did I ever have one?

I must have.

If I didn't this diary would be useless.

3:42

It kinda is,isn't it?

Whatever.

I just want my room for myself.

Remember what happened when Daichi moved himself in Tyson's house?

No?

Me neither.

3:43

Butterflies!!!

9:24

Was I playing with the butterflies for such a long time?

Nope.

I just didn't know where I left my diary.

My notebook.

Like Death Note.

**MWAHAHAHA.**

9:25

Light is my idol.

Do you know him?

If you don't,you should.

Anyways,I'll go and sleep now.

I'm already laying under my white sheets.

9:26

Mystel is not here but Brooklyn asked me if I he could sleep in my room.

I think he's kind after all.

Unless he is on some kind of anti-depressants.

I don't really want to think about it though so I told him he can sleep in the couch.

I have a couch in my bedroom.

It's green.

Light green.

So It's not like my hair.

No comments about my hair.

10:00

Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

* * *

**If you like this fic I will continue. So keep the reviews coming people! XD**

**Oh... this story is dedicated to all us lunatics out there! YAY!**

* * *


	2. A pink bandanna,a promise and me

**Basic Info: **Chapter two of Kevin's randomness. You have been warned.

**Warnings: **Some swearing. Some OOCness. Some Hyperness. A bucket of cherries.

**Pairings:** Ray/Mariah in this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Own it,I do not. But Brooklyn lives in my head. And nope,I didn't invite him! **O_O  
**

**Author's Notes:** I am mad...quite mad. So this chapter is random and mad. **RAR!  
**

**On another note: **I'm thinking about updating this story every Tuesday and I will also be using the actual date that I'm writing the story.

* * *

_**Chapter Two:**_

_**A pink bandanna,a promise and me**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Tuesday 2nd June 2006.

9:13 in the am

(inside my bedroom)

Good Morn...

"KEVIN!"

Not again!

"Who is it?" I ask even though I already know what _that _is.

"It's me,Mariah!"

Bingo!

"What do you want?" I ask in a charming voice.

"I lost my bandanna,will you open the door now?"

The door is locked.

Brooklyn is still sleeping.

9:23

I got up,opened the door,listened to Mariah talk for five minutes and then she left.

Stormed off.

Disappeared.

No longer at my view.

She woke Brooklyn up!!!

Bad Mariah!

9:27

He left.

He waved and left.

At least he waved.

9:31

(on my way to Ray's house)

I think Mariah mentioned something about a pink bandanna,a promise and me.

I can't see those things matched.

I guess I will have to look for her bandanna later.

That doesn't make me happy.

I'm getting tired of finding her bandannas.

10:12

I don't feel nice,

I feel sick.

Some thing's wrong.

Some thing's wrong with the food I ate.

I bet it was poisoned.

Someone wants to kill me!

They fear me.

And they want to take care of me.

I bet it's the Italian mafia.

10:34

(Somewhere outside)

"Ray?Oi,Raaaay!!!"

I think that Mariah really likes shouting people's names.

No,I didn't mean it this way.

10:39 

Ray is fishing.

Probably.

He's by the river.

10:40

He's pretending to be fishing.

So he can avoid Mariah.

10:41

No.

He doesn't.

10:43

He's actually sitting there.

On his own.

Mariah and me are watching him from a distance.

He's not interesting.

10:46

(on my way back to my home)

I left.

I don't care about their relationship,anyway.

I have problems of my own.

Like how the hell I'll kick the two '_fellas'_ out of my house.

10:59

(Inside my lovely house)

I just arrived home.

There's nobody in here.

11:03

(in the kitchen)

Nope,I was wrong.

Mystel is sitting on the table,staring at me.

I'm going to kick his ass one day.

Yes,I will.

11:04

Oops!I sang that out loud.

Oh well.

11:06

"Why have you decided to make my place your space?"

Mystel only raised his eyebrow.

Whatever,I can't be bothered right now.

I need to find Miss Pinky's bandanna.

Didn't I promise I would?

11:10

And yes,of course,just my luck.

Mystel is holding her bandanna.

I **AM** going to kill him.

Later.

Just because he pisses me off.

11:15

(in the living-room)

"Keviiiiiiiiiiiiin"

Oh,the sound of my lovely name.

11:15 and a half 

Hold on...

That wasn't the voice of...

Oh,please,NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

11:17

It's... my Mum.

Nothing surprising there.

"Honey,guess who came here with us?"

Why am I feeling petrified?

11:20

"WHO GOES THEAR?"

Oh,no!

Guess who just came through the door.

I think that's the right moment for me to pack it all and leave.

And go to Ray's house of course.

Or Lee's.

But he's crazy so nope.

11:25

Now,I'm actually wondering...

Why everyone wants to come to my place?

I wonder with my tiny little brain.

11:27

Why did I just say that my brain is tiny?

I'm having this feeling that I'm insulting myself.

Which happens quite often.

11:43

(still in the living room)

I forgot to say who came in the house!

I'm not telling you.

I know you are all curious now but I'm not telling you.

No,no,no.

11:52

I'm not gonna tell you.

Na,na,na,na,na!!!

11:55

"Shut up,Kevin!"

THE NEXT PERSON WHO READS WHAT I'M WRITING WILL DIE!!!

My Mum is laughing now.

And so does that person who just came.

11:58

Mystel is smirking.

Well,he's behind me since I have turned around to face the door but I _know_ he is smirking.

Maybe I should turn back around and see what he is doing.

I just turned around.

And....

He is smirking.

BINGO!

12:01 in the pm

I'm still not telling who that person is,right?

Well,that person is...

"Kevin!"

Isn't that Mariah's voice?

Yes,it is.

She just run up to Mystel and thanked him for finding her bandanna.

She should know better and not lose them.

And she just majorly ignored me.

Well,it's still my name she called.

Huh!

12:13

She walked in here without even greeting the person who just came.

Maybe she didn't see him.

Which is really impossible.

That person is kinda... _big._

_Well,he's not the kind of person you don't notice._

Got my drift?

12:24

The important thing right now is not Mariah!

The important thing right now is the person who just came through the door.

I shouldn't use just anymore since many minutes have passed since that time.

The time when that person came through the door.

The wooden brown door.

12:45

Alright,alright.

I will tell who he was.

It was Rick.

Somehow you don't feel excited and amazed now,right?

1:02 

Let's find out why he is here.

"What brings you over here,Rick?"

I ask in my very bright voice.

"I'm here on behalf of my team"

That sounded so formal.

Maybe Michael's getting married to some random fangirl and he wants us to attend his wedding?

I don't know why I just thought about that.

I don't know why Michael would want to get married to some random fangirl.

I don't know why he would call us to his wedding either.

I don't know why he should send Rick here and tell us.

Like,couldn't he send a postcard or something?

Would he really invite us to his wedding with a postcard?

Wow,that would be cheap.

Unless it's Emily the one who's getting married.

I doubt that anyone would want to marry Emily unless she has some kind of fortune.

But she doesn't because if she did,she would have been already married.

No,I doubt that,nobody would be able to stand her,not even for money.

Well,that leads to the conclusion that Michael is the one who's getting married.

I should shut up and let Rick speak.

1:31

"And what's going on?"

Mystel asked after he noticed that I've been writing for the past ten minutes.

I must say that Mystel just asked a valid question.

Now,we are waiting for this question to be replied to.

Does that make sense?

I hope you can follow my trail of thoughts.

Many thoughts.

Wise people have many thoughts.

"And morons"

Mystel makes a valid point.

1:43

DID HE SAY THAT ABOUT ME?

"Your brain is running slow"

He makes a second valid point.

I'm having this weird feeling that Mystel is smart.

"Genious"

SELFISH BLONDE BASTARD!

4:22

(back in my bedroom)

I bet you are still wondering what Rick is doing here.

After two hours we understood he is here because

we will take part in some kind of a show-off tournament.

I'm not invited.

Ray is the one who he is invited.

He is the one who is going to blade against some random guy.

Not so random.

He's gonna blade against Michael.

That's a pity.

You know why?

Cause I was really looking forward to that marriage.

I had even thought of a gift.

I would wrap Ray up and put a green ribbon in his head.

4:27

Excuse me but I was laughing to myself for the past 4 and half minutes.

I'm now back in my room with Mystel.

I have just noticed that I haven't seen Brooklyn since morning.

I wonder if he's alright.

That guy needs power management classes.

Where have I read that?

Hmm...

4:32

I don't remember.

Anyways,we were at Ray's house before.

If you didn't understand.

I bet you didn't.

This is why I said so.

4:44

Have I ever said that I'm jealous of Ray?

He is getting all the glory and the fame.

Totally not fair.

And then I'm being called the weakest link.

But if I leave I will be dearly missed.

Cause I'm adorable like that,that's why.

8:53

(knocking on the door of my beautiful house)

I'm getting tired.

I should eat dinner and go to bed.

9:00

(dining room)

Do you wonder what I was doing those other hours I didn't write about?

I was training.

Practicing my beyblading skills.

I need to do something for a living.

9:11

We have cherries.

Cherries make me happy.

9:30

"Did Brooklyn say anything before he left?"

Mystel asked me something in a normal way.

I' must say that I'm amazed by his normality.

"No,I didn't even notice he left"

I replied with all my honesty.

Where has Brooklyn gone?

Maybe he left for Thailand or something.

What would he do in Thailand?

I will have to think about it.

9:32

I have never been to Thailand.

I bet it's gonna be nice.

I will stop dreaming about Thailand in the next two minutes.

9:34

Stopped!

9:45

(somewhere inside the house)

I just ate my cookies and drink a glass of milk and I'm heading to my bed.

I will now run to my room to make sure I lock Mystel outside.

10:46

(n the safety of my bedroom)

It has been an hour and Mystel still hasn't showed up in the door.

Maybe he gave up.

I like pissing him off.

But he pisses me off too.

That I like not.

Bad Mystel,bad!

10:51

Have you noticed how many times I mentioned Mystel's name today?

People will think I'm in love with him.

10:52

**I am NOT.**

10:53

I'll sleep.

10:55

Zzzzzzzzzz...

* * *

**Drop me a review and answer this question:**

**Do you want to see more Mystel,more Brooklyn or should I bring Tala and Kai around?**

**Or someone else? XD**


	3. Simple things please simpleminded people

**Basic Info: **A short green haired person. Two visitors and a Russian. Plus two weddings. That's what our chapter is made of today.

**Warnings: **Swearing,OOCness,Hyperness,Randomness. Usual stuff.

**Pairings: **(in this chapter) Ray/Mariah and Salima/Goki.

**Disclaimer:** George W. Bush owns this story. No,wait. I just insulted my story **:|  
**

**Author's Note: **I'm...quite pleased with the attention this story is getting. I wasn't sure if I could write humor or a multi-chaptered fic that I will update regularly but it's all good now. This chapter is shorter,me thinks. Don't worry,next one will be longer.

**One more note: Whoever knows where Brooklyn is,please bring him back.  
**

**

* * *

**

**_Chapter Three:_**  
_**Simple things please simple minded people**_

_

* * *

_

Tuesday 9th June 2006.

(Cupboard.

House.

White Tiger Village.

White Tiger Hills.

A Chinese Mountain.

People's republic of China.

Asia.

The World.

The Planet Earth.

The Universe.)

11:03 in the am.

Zzzzzzzzz

….

Zzzzzzzzz

….

Zzzzzzzzz

11:06

I was pretending I was sleeping.

Did I fool you?

I know I did.

11:08 

Or were you probably thinking what the hell is going on in Kevin's tiny brain again?

I'll tell you what's going on.

Nothing.

Mwahahaha!

11:10

I just insulted myself once again,didn't I ?

11:30

(in the kitchen)

Morning was normal. I woke up,get dressed,brushed my shiny vampire like white teeth,took a shower,then got dressed again with normal clothes,made my bed and went downstairs.

"Kevin dearest,what do you want for breakfast?"

My life is so beautiful today.

11:31

Wait.

Is it eleven?

Is it close to midday?

11:32

I FORGOT ABOUT TRAINING.

11:33

Shit!

Pardon my French.

11:53

(running in the village)

I stormed out of the house after eating a yellow banana and I'm now running towards Lee's house.

That... furry will kill me if I'm not on time.

Who let me sleep so much?

11: 55

(next to a tree)

Mystel.

It's his fault.

I know it!

11:57

(close to the aforementioned tree)

He wasn't here last night,was he?

I don't remember.

12:02 in the pm.

(outside Lee's house)

"Kevin! Where on bloody hell have you been?" Mariah asked me and approached me with a very furious look.

I feel that my safety is under threat.

Mariah is the enemy.

12:05

(inside Lee's house)

I just realised why she is so angry and why she won't calm down any time soon.

We have another visitor this week.

I don't know if Rick left but I haven't seen him.

Maybe he's living in a tree or something.

No,that's a Mystel-thing.

You wouldn't understand.

12:08

Well,Salima is here.

She is here with Goki though.

His eyes are all black and his hair are all spikey and black.

I'm intimidated by his hair.

Mariah wants to kill Salima,me thinks.

Hilary has told her some '_stuff_'.

12:10

I'm worried about her sanity.

Even though she is with Ray now as in a normal couple,she is extremely jealous.

Maybe that's why Ray was so anti-social last week.

He knew she would come!

Oh,the drama!

12:13

(close to the door)

You know what I'm going to do?

I will leave.

12:14

And I will take the blonde with me.

Yes,Mystel was around.

12:17

(running in the village again)

I grabbed the Egyptian by his hand and dragged him out of Lee's house.

He's looking at me with a look in his eyes that says_ 'are you going to take advantage of me?'_

I wouldn't.

Cause I'm not gay!

12:18

Do **NOT **comment on that.

12:30

(in our special place)

We have now arrived in our spaceship.

"You don't have any spaceship" Mystel said.

I opened my mouth to reply to him but I closed it again when I saw Ray approaching us.

12:32

I hope he doesn't want me to do something for his girlfriends.

He looks so worried and in trouble.

It is breaking my heart.

Maybe something is really going on.

12:33

Ray is now sitting next to us in our bench.

We were randomly standing next to the bench.

We sat down on the bench when Ray sat.

I like making simple sentences.

Simple things please simple minded people.

Like me.

12:35

Ray is still looking sad.

Emo-ish sad.

Freak-ish sad.

12:37

I don't like watching him like that.

It draws all my hyperness away.

1:00 

(on the bench)

"What's wrong,Ray?" I ask him.

"Well,Salima..." he began.

I'm having the feeling that this won't end nice.

Mystel nodded.

We both have a horrified look in our faces.

Mine is prettier.

Mystel squinted.

I get easily distracted.

1:05

"Salima is going to marry Goki and she invited us to their wedding" Ray continued.

We both look at him surprised.

I expected him to say something like '_I slept with her_' or '_I think I love her_'.

But nothing.

1:08

Then why is he so sad?

"Then why are you so sad?" Mystel asked him.

He's reading my mind.

Or my diary.

It's kinda the same.

1:10

"I... I want to get married too"

My eyes have just opened wide.

"That's fantastic news,man!"

Whoever guessed that was Mystel's voice,you were right.

1:16

I'm still... surprised.

I'm still looking at Ray like he is something alienated.

Like an alienated alien.

Can aliens be alienated?

I shall have to think about it.

Maybe then I can write a scientific book.

About aliens,of course.

Or alienated pirates.

Shut up,Kevin!

1:21

Let's make things clear.

"So,Salima and Kane came all the way here to tell us they are getting married?"

"And also invited us" Ray replied.

"And you consider marriage..." I continued.

"Yes,I do " He replied looking down.

"Then why don't you ask her and get over with it?" I pressed on,making an obvious statement.

"What if she says no?" His voice sounded bitter.

"Are you mad?" Mystel spoke with a fake British accent.

Note to self: Laugh about Mystel's British accent later.

1:24

"Go and marry her." I said and walked away.

I can't believe he doesn't asks her already!

Well,weddings are always nice.

I knew there would be a wedding.

I knew it!

1:30

My stomach is hungry.

I agree with my stomach.

I am hungry too.

1:41

(home sweet home)

I'm now in the safety of my own lovely home.

I bet Ray is still with Mystel talking about wedding stuff.

Maybe he has told him by now that he wants to be his best man.

1:44

NO!

That means that I can't be the best man.

I have to be the best man.

1:46

(in the kitchen)

"Lee has to be the best man"

Mystel replied chewing on an apple.

He is right.

2:02

(at the table in the kitchen)

We are now sitting at the table with Mystel and we are eating lunch.

That makes me wonder why do I spend half of my day with Mystel?

"I'm adorable" He smiled.

I'll chop off his balls.

3:21

(walking in the village with Mystel)

Brooklyn is still missing.

It has been a whole week and he is still not here.

I will start feeling worried some time soon.

3:27

"Bloody communist!" Mariah shouted walking to wherever we were.

"I'm not a communist!" I protested.

"Me neither!" Mystel added.

"I wasn't talking about you!" she snapped and pointed to the other direction.

3:28

There stood Bryan in all his Russian glory.

* * *

**You will find out why Kevin stopped writing in his diary,next week! XD**

**In the meantime,leave me a review and tell me what you think XD**


	4. It is just so so so random

**Basic Info: **You might reach a new level of lolness. If not,then there is always the next chapter.

**Warnings: **Are those warnings _really_ important?** PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR RANDOMNESS.**

**Pairings: **(in this chapter) Ray/Mariah.

**Disclaimer: **Kevin belongs to CanIhazcheeseburgerplz.

**Author's Note: **Erm,my exams are over so that means that I will have more time to concentrate on my shitefiction. Also,I'm getting a new laptop soon. **XD **Let me take this moment to apologize for the slow update also. *takes moment*** =D**

**One more note: Oi! **_**xChewy**_** suggested I should call this:** "_**The Whimsical Adventures of Wonder Boy and Egypt Kid ****"**_

_**

* * *

**_

**_  
Chapter Four: "It is just so so so... random."_**

_

* * *

  
_

Tuesday 23rd June 2006.

10:31 in the am.

(inside my bedroom)

"I'm bringing sexy back!"

No,I'm not the one who's singing that now.

Take a wild guess.

10:32

It's Bryan.

10:33

Bryan and his Rusianness.

I just made up that word.

10:35

He's WORST than Mystel.

At least Mystel is all blonde and floating and...Mystel-like.

But Bryan is a prick.

A nightmare.

11:00

I refuse to get off my bed.

Well,I can't do otherwise because Bryan has tied me up.

Don't get those kinky thoughts in your head.

Especially you.

You!The one with the rabbit.

Stop giggling.

11:05

Bryan said that I was being 'annoying' when I told him I don't want him in my room.

Then he asked me why Brooklyn and Mystel sleep in my bedroom.

I told them that they INVADED my privacy.

He called me gay.

Lee told him that it was an insult to gay people.

I'm not gay.

But Bryan is!

"I saw that!"

Don't get Bryan mad …

Especially when he has threatened that he will bring Tala and Kai here.

And we all know what happens when they are here.

11:08

**DOOM.**

11:23

"Kevin,honey,do you want breakfast?"

Yes,if I could escape that rope,I'd love some food,thank you.

"No,he's still sleeping" Bryan answered.

BASTARD.

He glared at me.

And then he smirked.

Maybe he's going to eat me.

Mum!I'm scared!

11:28

"Shut up,you act like a whining little kid"

No,I was just trying to get us in the mood.

He raised his eyebrow.

11:31

I'm not tied up.

I'm just sitting in my bed,looking at the Russian.

But I fooled you,didn't I?

11:43

Bryan is here cause of Mystel.

He said he wanted to dye his hair.

_Purple._

And that's why he came all the way from Russia here.

It's not like China is far away from Russia or anything

But he lives in Moscow.

Which _is _far away from here.

I'm actually serious right now.

That's the reason why he came here all of a sudden.

I wonder what the blonde has done to him.

11:50:

I need breakfast though.

And Bryan said he will pee now so....I must run for freedom.

11:51

I am currently running around the table.

Cause I just realised that I really need to pee too.

11:54

(in the bathroom)

Yes,I have a bathroom next to my bedroom.

In case you were thinking I had a toilet next to my desk or something.

I wouldn't.

12:02 in the pm.

(on my way to the kitchen)

"La la la la la la la la la"

who the hell is singing now?

"Oh Kevin,I missed you"

A ginger head said and hugged me.

Hold on,isn't that...?

12:03

(inside an area that goes by the name Kitchen)

"Hey,Brooklyn!" Bryan high fived him.

Do they know each other?

Why Brooklyn wear this green costume?

And why does he wear a lip gloss?

And why is he still holding me?

12:05

"You can let go of me now"

I said solemnly hoping he will let me go.

Instead he just squeed and frowned "But I missed you"

Gah,can he be any more gay?

12:31

(on my way back to my bedroom)

After some time he finally let go of me.

I think I attract everyone.

Maybe I'm just so damn attractive.

Or maybe I'm so cute and adorable,that everyone wants to hug me.

And looooove me.

"Or maybe the author of this story wants to torture you" Bryan said.

RUSSIAN BASTARD.

12:35

"And her friends" He added.

"Shut up!" I yelled and closed the door.

I need Lee's help with this.

Bryan said he won't leave until he dyes Mystel's hair.

Well,the Egyptian is nowhere to be found.

Imagine me with a really squint look now.

I look so evil.

12:42

(walking in the village)

"Is he still acting utterly gay?"

Ray shouted running to my side.

Who?

I raised my eyebrow.

12:43

"Mystel" He breathed out.

"I haven't seen him since..."

I stopped and tried to think with my own brain for a bit.

13:01

(after a lot of thinking)

"Since Bryan's arrival" I announced triumphantly.

"You know the word 'arrival'? Ray asked me.

I will feel insulted any minute now.

"It's not that big" I protested.

"Yeah right" He grimaced.

What is he acting all bad ass to me?

"What did you take?"

"Sex"

I'm not quite sure that I needed to know such information.

13:06

(walking next to many bushes)

Ray left.

He continued with his journey to find the Blonde.

I continued with my super awesome journey to find Lee's house.

It's like his house teleports itself every week.

I swear that last week it was just behind those green bushes.

13:07

(checking behind the bushes)

No,it is not there.

I'm gonna check behind the river.

13:08

(checking behind the river)

No,not here.

13:09

(checking inside the river)

Nope,just water in here.

13:10

(coming out of the river)

Oh,I'm all wet now :-(

13:21

(going back to my house)

I actually expected Mystel to be looking at me from an angle or something.

But I can't worry about him now when I didn't even ask Brooklyn where he was.

I think I might should.

Because I am a cat and I am curious.

That's why.

13:32

(reaching home)

"I feel pretty,oh so pretty!"

What is up with Bryan and all the singing?

What has _he_ taken?

13:33

(still in earth)

Bryan opened the door with a sexy smile.

And then he looked down and understood it was me.

He closed the door.

I opened it.

And now I'm inside.

Inside the house.

13:35

And now I spotted Brooklyn.

He is sewing.

He is still in that green costume.

Which I can't even describe.

It's awful.

13:36

(inside the living-room)

"Hey!Brook!"

I saluted him and sit down next to him.

Apparently,we no longer have sofas and chairs in the house.

I don't think I know or I will ever know why.

Or maybe I know and I just like feeding you some angst.

I can feed you anything I want.

13:38

(sitting on the floor)

Brooklyn smiled to me and blinked.

He looks so cute right now.

He is looking like a plushie.

Makes me want to squeeze him.

But I won't.

I am man,that's why.

I could give him a man hug though.

I wanted to ask him something,didn't I?

13:40

"Where on earth were you?"

I blurted out staring at him.

"In Amsterdam"

He replied and went back to sewing.

Is that supposed to be normal?

Is he supposed to normal?

Is anything supposed to be normal?

13:42

"I got you a gift!" He beamed of joy and got quickly up.

He run upstairs (remind me comment about the stairs later) and came back with a …

Bowl.

Yes.

Bowl.

I think it's made of glass.

13:43

(looking at the bowl)

It's not shiny therefore it doesn't interest me.

13:45

(holding the bowl)

He gave me the bowl and went to the kitchen.

And he came back with a bag.

A bag full of water.

Why did he put water in a bag?

In a plastic bag?

What's the point?

13:46

(a moment of realisation)

Wait,there's something orange in there.

And it is not his hair.

13:47

(second moment of realisation)

Oh My Buddha. It is a goldfish!

13:50

That means that my bunny Rasputin will now have a friend.

I must find a name for him.

"Thank you Brooklyn" I exclaimed and he put the fish in the bowl.

He added some water and there,all ready!

I feel so tears-of-joy-ful now.

14:01

Bryan is looking at us with a disgust face in his look now.

I don't think he likes my goldfish.

Brooklyn and I decided to become his parents.

Not Bryan's.

The goldfish's.

We named him _"Petronius"_

I dare you to pronounce that.

I love that name.

It is just so so so... random.

17:35

(playing in the garden)

"The hills are alive with the sound of muuuusic"

Bryan is still at it.

Mystel is still missing.

That will make me miss him.

Some time soon.

Before it becomes later.

And so on...

21:12

(in the safety of very own bedroom)

I will eat some cherries and then I will sleep.

Bryan will sleep at the newly put couch in my bedroom.

(I guess he stole that from the so-called living room)

And Brooklyn will sleep in the second bed in my room.

I don't know how that got here either.

21:21

(another moment of multiple realisations)

I'm afraid that more people will come to my house.

Like Garland...or that blue haired slut.

21:22

(a moment of hope)

But for now I have my dear Petronius and Rasputin by my side.

21:25

I shall sleep in peace.

That sounded so morbid.

I don't know how.

Goodnight.

* * *

**There! All done! :-) Please review this wannabe lolchapter. **

**Oh and could you take the poll I have in my profile? I'll give you virtual cookies.**

**XD**


	5. I'm not short,I'm space saving

**Basic Info: RUN AWAY FROM HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN,THERE IS TOO MUCH RANDOMNESS FOR YOU TO HANDLE,AAAH!!!**

**Warnings: **Kevin's Mum is performing on stage. Seriously.

**Pairings: **None in this one :O

**Disclaimer:** Kevin is miiiine and I torture him immensely!!!

**Author's Note: **Lappytoppy is here. Updates will be here often. But...gah,am I lazy.

* * *

"_**The Whimsical Adventures of Wonder Boy and Egypt Kid ****"** _

_Chapter Four: I'm not short. I'm space saving._

_

* * *

_

Tuesday 14th July 2006.

05:31 in the am.

(my very own bedroom)

I can't sleep.

Dear Bryan is snoring.

All night long.

5:32

(complaining in my bedroom)

I can't sleep.

He is annoying!

"Why can't you say that he is just a fucking bastard?"

I have manners.

Mystel loled.

Yes,loled.

It's 5 am,what do you want?

5:35

(in my bed talking to Mystel)

"Why are you awake?" I ask the blondeness that Mystel is.

"I don't sleep" he replied solemnly.

Yes and I'm a butterfly.

"Seriously?" A ginger creature asked.

"No"

Ginger person pouted.

6:45

(not in my bed,thinking)

I wish my life was normal.

With normal people.

Normal parents.

Normal friends.

Normal pets.

7:01

(in the stage room)

But no.

Everything has to be so crazy.

Like now.

Mum is wearing a pink hat and she's performing.

I don't know what she is performing.

She's up on the stage and she's acting.

Like an actress.

And it's only 7 am.

We have a stage in our house.

Because we are cool like that.

And that's how we roll.

I really need to sleep.

8:30

(in some kind of living-room)

I felt asleep in the sofa even though my Mum kept on signing.

"Performing!"

Oh my little darling Mystel is back here.

8:32

(going through a moment of realisation)

Mystel?

Wait...doesn't Bryan want to dye his hair?

Where is Bryan?

"I was here before" He said.

"Seriously?" I asked him.

Am I drunk? Why can't I remember what happened?

"Maybe Bryan gave you booze"

He just faked an Australian accent.

This is going to be another long day.

9:02

(in the kitchen with everyone)

At least we have food.

We are all in the kitchen,eating breakfast.

Bryan is glaring at Mystel not touching his food.

Mystel is happily noming upon some strawberries.

Brooklyn has Rasputin on his lap and he's stroking him.

Petronius is also here. In his "house" of course.

Mum and Dad are eating each other.

Feeding.

They are feeding each other.

9:23

(still in the same kitchen)

We are all still eating.

Wrong,I'm the only one who's eating.

Mystel is now brushing his long blonde hair with his delicate fingers.

Bryan is still glaring at him,probably plotting how he is going to eliminate him later.

Brooklyn is looking dreamily at the ceiling.

Actually,he spend five minutes looking at me.

With a very loving look in his face.

I was petrified.

10:11

(adventuring in the village)

We are now in the square.

If you could actually call it that.

I just saw a plane.

It was yellow and... yellow like.

I'm with Mystel,Brooklyn and Bryan.

They refuse to leave me.

They are always following me.

Everywhere.

Don't comment on that.

10:16

(walking upon and down the village)

"We should do something amusing" Bryan said.

Something inside me tells me that something bad will happen later.

I now look at Bryan with shifty eyes.

Mystel is laughing.

No,that's not laughing.

That's something sound like "cha ha ha ha ho!"

Ho,ho,ho.

I hope they won't stay here till Christmas.

"Too late"

Damn!

10:32

(under a green tree)

"We will chase the midget" the Russian creature said.

I should protest any minute now.

"I'm not short,I'm space saving" I frowned.

"Yeah and I'm Spiderman" the blonde thing said.

"Aren't you?" the ginger head looked at him with his big bright emerald eyes.

"Only at nights" He replied solemnly.

Random hero moment.

10:36

(next to a gray rock)

He is now standing on the rock raising his finger like a superhero.

His red cape is waving in the air.

Where did he find that cape?

Do I dare to ask?

No,I don't even dare to think.

10:40

(still next to the rock)

Brooklyn is taking many photos of him.

He apparently had a digital camera in his pocket.

It is pink.

Both of them.

His pocket and the camera.

Fuchsia.

10:50

(between a gray rock and a green tree)

Now,Mystel and Brooklyn are dancing.

Seriously.

He has grabbed him and they jump all around.

Like hop,hop,hop.

11:01

(a moment of deep philosophical thinking)

I feel ashamed that I'm with them.

This is why I'll never ever get laid.

12:42

(in the middle of the village)

They're still dancing.

Together.

The only thing that has changed now is that Bryan is singing.

12:45

"Because I'm bad,I'm bad. Damn,I'm so,I'm baaaaaaad"

He's still at it.

12:46

Please,someone stop him.

12:48

(sprinting around)

Nooooooooo!

You won't take me alive!!!

They are dragging me to sing and dance with them.

12:50

(hiding behind a rock)

I hid behind the rock.

It is small.

They found me.

12:50 and a half

Damn.

16:41

(walking back home)

They finally got tired of all the dancing and the singing.

Why do I even hung out with these people?

"It's not like you have a choice"

The Russian beast is right.

18:32

(in something that looks like a living-room)

We all ate lunch.

And then my parents told me that they will leave the house for a while.

A while that will last a week.

They're going down to China.

I bet it's cause of all those guys here.

They can't stand them either.

No matter how random they are.

So,from now on I will be all alone.

With those bastards.

Someone,please,save me.

19:53

(outside in the garden that's all green and stuff)

"Nom,nom,nom,nom,nom,nom,nom,nom"

Bryan is out of his freaking mind.

He never had any to begin with.

20:17

(still in the same green garden)

They are now dancing and singing again.

Brooklyn is dancing.

Mostly jumping like a goat.

Bryan is singing.

20:19

(we haven't gone anywhere else)

Do you wish to know what he is singing?

"Marriage of Figaro."

Yes.

He is singing Mozart.

Mozart should feel ashamed of that.

21:31 

(in my once upon a time own bedroom)

"I think I should take a bath before I sleep,I freaking stink"

Shit,I said that aloud.

Mystel is now smelling me.

"Get your arse in the bed"

Bryan is bossing him around.

Mwahahahaha.

"If you want,I can come with you for company"

Brooklyn is scaring me.

So I shall run to the safety of the bathroom.

Wait,I live in a village.

Do we even have bathrooms?

21:42

(in a room that has a bathtub and a toilet)

Yes,we do.

I'm in there right now.

22:03

(peeking through the bedroom door)

Oh,they are all sleeping.

All three of them.

In my bed.

Bryan is in the middle.

Brooklyn has hugged him.

Mystel has thrown his arms around him.

Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?

The other bed.

22:09

(in the other bed)

I have tucked myself under the cold sheets of the other bed.

Brooklyn was sleeping here all these days.

Wait....something is moving in here.

Ohmygawd!The bed is haunted!

22:11

(still in the other bed)

Oh,wait.

It's just Rasputin the bunny.

He's so fluffy and... fluffy.

22:15

(take a wild guess where I could possibly be)

"_Dream,brother,my killer,my lover"_

Did Mystel just quote Placebo?

Okay.

Nothing will ever seem too random to me any more.

23:32

Bryan is snoring.

Save me.

* * *

**There,all done. Now... **

**SPAM MY INBOX WITH YOUR REVIEWS =D**


	6. Oh my freaking noes!

**Basic Info:** Kevin is living peacefully in the White Tigers village till Lee goes completely berserk.

**Warnings: **All the loonies out there.

**Pairings: **Ray/Mariah in this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **OWNAGE.

**Author's Note: **Yes,you are allowed to throw tomatoes at me for not updating sooner. And,for your information I have posted this other story that is Kevin-centered. It's hilarious. Find it and read it ;-)

* * *

"_**The Whimsical Adventures of Wonder Boy and Egypt Kid ****"**_

_Chapter Six: "Oh my freaking noes"_

_**

* * *

**_

Tuesday 21th July 2006

9:15 in the am.

(under a wooden box)

Wooden box?

Wait,let me restart my day.

9:17

(inside a box)

There all better.

9:21

(still inside the box)

Why am I in a box you wonder?

I don't think that would surprise you.

I'm known only for random and crazy things.

Therefore the box is not that odd for me.

Even though I have a reason why I'm inside a box.

But you're not allowed to know that reason.

Yet.

You will figure it out soon.

9:22

(still inside that wooden box)

Now...

This box is not that comfortable.

Maybe I should get out.

9:24

(getting out of that box)

Out of it I am.

9:27

(in my bedroom)

Yes.

I had no particular reason for staying in that box.

I just wanted to do something random.

And so I did.

9:31

(in the kitchen)

So... I'm all alone in the house.

I just woke up and nobody was here.

So for now I will enjoy this unforeseen serenity.

9:35 and a half.

(opening the door)

And it's over.

Mystel's back.

Unless he never left.

"Did you go somewhere?"

"Yeah,I helped Ray shove Bryan in Lee's wardrobe"

"Oh"

9:37

(my head has just been hit with a random flash of intelligence)

WHAT?

9:45

(storming in Lee's bedroom)

It's the truth.

Bryan is inside Lee's wardrobe.

And he's singing.

"I wanna break free!"

I don't think he minds being there.

At all.

I'm not saying that because he's singing.

I'm saying that because Lee has informed me that he left many porn magazines in there.

With ladies.

I hope.

10:01

(in Lee's bedroom)

We are all now sitting around the wardrobe.

We're staring at it.

Bryan's no longer singing.

Lee is looking at the white wall with his big bright eyes.

Mariah is sitting on Ray's lap and she has a dreamy look.

I don't think she wants to be here at all.

Or that she is here at all.

Mentally,I mean.

Or that she has realised she is here,anyhow.

Ray is having a serious conversation with Mystel.

About bees.

Brooklyn is staring at me.

Staring?

No,that's not staring.

He's looking at me with a complete empty look in his eyes.

10:05

(another intelligent moment)

And... I figured it out.

He's looking at the dress behind me.

10:07

(and another flash of intelligence came)

Wait.

Lee has a dress in his room.

One that Brooklyn clearly wants to have.

So... PLAN !

10:11

(working on my plan)

I have given the dress to Brooklyn .

He's now stroking it saying it's the softest thing he has ever touched.

He scares me.

Too much for my own good.

11:02

(back to the safety of my own home)

As of now,I have returned to my own lovely home.

I can't stand these lunatics any more.

Mariah offered to cook me some breakfast.

I left her in the kitchen and I took a shower.

Firstly,I made sure Brooklyn wasn't there.

He wasn't.

Relief.

11:14

(eating some of Mariah's breakfast)

"Hey,Kiwi,would you like to be our bestman?"

Bestman?Who?me?

"We have already asked Mystel to be..."

"A bridesmaid?"

"No,the bestman but he said no due to unfortunate circumstances"

Mystel has no circumstances.

Oh,big word.

Clever little me.

11:21

(no longer eating but still in the kitchen)

I nommed.

I feel like a very happy boy now.

In fact I'm so fucking happy I could cry.

"Someone's quoting Green Day"

Yes,I know,love.

11:22

(Huh?)

LOVE?

I didn't write that word!

"I know,I did,love"

Oh my noes,Bryan is here.

11:25

(after a staring contest with Bryan)

"So are you going to become their bestman,love?"

Why is he calling me his love?

If Brooklyn did so,I'd take it as normal.

More of a fact actually.

But it's just so out of Bryan's character.

Mariah seems nonchalant about everything though.

I bet that by now nothing surprises her.

She's spend far too many hours with me and the blonde freak last week in the lake.

I'm not telling you what we did.

Ignore my shifty eyes.

11:30

(decided that it's time to have a very serious moment)

"I don't think I'm qualified to be the best man"

I said solemnly to the pink haired freak in front of me.

"Okay" She sighed.

"TRAITOR!" Lee screamed right out of nowhere.

"How dare you say no to my sister?" He actually roared.

"I-I-I..."

"SILENCE!" He continued sounding like a certain half-Russian fella.

"You have dishonored my family!"

He shook his head and looked down at the floor.

Then he slowly raised his face back up and looked forcefully at me.

"You shall be expelled from this village"

WHAT?

"Lee!You can't fucking do that when I didn't even..."

"IT HAS BEEN DECIDED"

He stormed off on his high heels.

11:34

(one of those 'what just happened' moments)

"You should have never said no,love"

Bryan smirked and wiggled his eyebrow.

"I was going to say yes,he never let me finish the sentence"

I protested.

Had Lee really kicked me off the vilage?

But he doesn't have the authority to do that.

Yes,he's eighteen and all and his grandfather is the leader or whatever but he can't.

He just can't.

Or can he?

11:36

(looking at the Egyptian kid with raised eyebrows)

"Oh,the agony"

I'll punch Mystel in the face.

11:38

(Grr.)

I will.

Any minute now.

11:41

(having a blank moment)

"Lee wants you out of the village"

Gary said as he walked inside.

"But why?" I whined.

"You have crossed the limits."

"I didn't do anything!I was going to say yes!"

"But you didn't!"

"He didn't let me finish"

"Rules are rules"

Why am I even writing all these?

12:11 in the pm.

(More grrrrr/in my bedroom)

Gah.

I'm now packing my stuff from my room.

I'll go to China to find my lovely parents and then find a way to deal with this mess.

"_I didn't fucking do anything."_

That little voice in my head is still protesting,see?

12:22

(More more more grrrrrrrr.)

They kicked me out of the village.

Quite literally.

Brooklyn and Mystel are still with me though.

They are both holding my hands.

Both of them.

It's really weird to walk like that.

The normal people of the village are looking at us as if were lunatics.

Which we totally are.

I wouldn't blame them.

Wait,wasn't I feeling angry before?

Yeah?Right.

Let me get back to that feeling.

12:34

(looking at a boat. a wooden one.)

We have now approached the lake and I see a little boat waiting for me.

Wanna know who's driving?

Driving?

People don't drive boats.

Erm,let me re-start this sentence.

Do you want to know who's in that boat?

I should take that nodding of yours as a yes and continue.

It is Bryan.

**O_O**

12:59

(listening to Bryan's divine voice)

"We're sailing in the sea,we're sailing in the sea!"

1:16 in the pm

(sailing in a boat)

"Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing

Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing Come, let us sing the sailor-song"

2:23

(still in that wonderful boat)

I wish Bryan would stop singing.

I'm over going some personal drama here!

2:31

(highly protesting)

I'm now waving my hands up and down.

Nobody is paying attention to me.

5:32

(still in the same position)

We're still sailing.

Bryan is still singing.

Mystel is looking at the horizon.

And Brooklyn is dancing.

5:41

(writing in my diary)

Yes,those two are also here.

Forgot to mention this before.

Since they were hiding under a blanket.

A white fluffy one.

7:51

(still in that freaking boat/what's taking us so long?)

I must have fallen asleep.

Someone's poking me.

"HEY!"

That was exclaimed by me.

7:53

(having a conversation with Bryan the Great.)

"Kevin,love"

Bryan said sounding serious for once in his life.

"It was all just a prank"

And with that he smiled sweetly and rolled over.

7:55

(Le sigh)

I'll kill them tomorrow.

Once I sleep some more.

8:03

(zzzzzzzzz)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

* * *

**Bryan allows you to review this masterpiece.**

**And he sends you cookies.**

**Loads of them.**

**:-)**


	7. Smirk It's contagious

**Basic Info:** Kevin no longer lives peacefully in the White Tiger Village.

**Warnings: **This is Kevin's we're talking about.** FEAR HIM!**

**Pairings: **Errr....None.

**Disclaimer: **Lucifer owns me. Therefore he owns this story.

**Author's Note: **OMFG,AN UPDATE :O

* * *

"_**The Whimsical Adventures of Wonder Boy and Egypt Kid ****"** _

_**Chapter Seven: " Smirk. It's contagious. "**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Friday 25th September 2006.

2:56 in the pm.

(inside a thing that looks as if it used to be a house)

The text here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

3:00

(still inside a house made of wood and love)

Avoided it?

I can smell alive from miles away.

Because I'm cool like that.

Oh,how lovable I am.

You just want to love me for like forever and worship the ground I'm walking on,right?

If you disagree with this I'll make you live with Mystel for a whole week.

Mwahahahahahahaha.

Let's see if **you** can survive.

3:03

(same as before,obviously)

Yeah.

So,how have you been doing?

I lost my journal.

I felt so sad.

I couldn't inform the world about my awesome unbelievable life.

You missed all those moments when Bryan was dancing.

And saying how much he likes babies.

And all these happened before he got drunk.

You see,it was Gary's birthday last week so we got like this huge party.

And we were like so drunk.

And man,we were like so fucking drunk.

Ya feel me?

3:07

(inside a wardrobe)

*shifty eyes*

3:09

BANG BANG

3:10

BOOM

3:11

BANG BANG

3:12

BOOM BOOM

3:13

BANG BANG BANG

3:14

BOOM BOOM BOOM

3:15

BANG BANG BANG BANG

3:16

BOOM BOOM POW BOOM

3:17

"the Earth is a triangle!!!"

"Seriously?"

3:18

"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"

3:19

"Dudes!"

3:20

"Oh my god! He gots booze"

3:21

"Guys,seriously"

3:22

"Haha!Losers!"

3:23

"Stop that!"

3:24

"Seriously,stop that"

3:26

"Please?"

3:29

"C'mon,it's not even funny"

3:33

"You are right"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"It's not funny. It's hilarious!"

3:34

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

3:35

"YOU DUMB BLONDE MIDGET!"

"I sense danger"

"GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL"

3:36

"You can all go take a flying fuck to the man in the moon!"

3:41

(on my way to the safe house)

I want a normal life.

Like now.

Buddha,do you hear me?

"I do,my child."

Splendid.

3:42

(a moment of deep thoughts)

Wait.

WHAT?

3:51

(To the Batmobile,Robin!)

.

I'm raping your journal.

I'm raping your journal.

Oh,oh,oh.

3:55

(taken hostage under the commands of Lee the mighty)

He is sex obsessed.

I recently found out what his condition is.

And I'm really pleased and satisfied in every way possible about the original and motivational completely not controversial innovation I found on my own.

3:58

(writing down the words of Gary the wise dude)

I think he is just stupid.

3:59

(under the lovely delicate hands of Mariah,the flower of beauty and innocence)

Doctors can't cure stupid.

4:00

(it's the moment of doom,mates)

Unless it's a hot naked doctor.

4:01

(Guess who?)

Point.

4:02

Tee hee hee.

7:00

(under a pumpkin tree)

They took my journal.

And hid him away from this bittersweet world.

They took my everything.

And then I got it back.

Because I'm awesome like that.

9:00

(somewhere where they can't come and take me away,ha-ha)

I am still hiding.

Yes.

My journal is a 'he'.

His name is 'Galileo'

Galileo the Journal.

Oh how awesome can I be?

I ridicilously surprise me.

I mean have you ever seen another insane creature like me?

No,you haven't.

Ahem.

I have to go nao.

IT'S TIEM FOR HOT NAKED SEX.

9:05

(Titanic)

Yeah.

I didn't say that.

Cause I only perform sexual activities with clothes on.

9:10

SEE YA!

* * *

**Oh,yeah. You are very much allowed to kill me for the lack of updates. Stake me,chop my head off,crucify me but please,don't touch the hair! D:**


	8. Worship me,I got cookies

**Basic Info:**

**Warnings: **FEAR THE GRAPES.

**Pairings: **Apples/Grapes.

**Disclaimer:** I own the grapes that will be shown in this story.

**Author's Note: **You know,there is a little tiny thing that I have been wondering for a while. This story right here makes absolutely no sense,I write it in different parts and times,I don't even remember what plot I wanted it to have and people are going like "omg,that's awesome!" =D

* * *

"_**The Whimsical Adventures of Wonder Boy and Egypt Kid ****"** _

_**Chapter Eight: " Worship me,I got cookies"**_

_**

* * *

**_Tuesday 8th December 2006.

10:12 in the am.

It has been three months since my last journal entry.

Yes,I have been dead.

But it's okay because now I have been reborn.

And I am here to rule them all.

So,bow down my minions and follow me.

10:15

Aaaand the fun is over.

I saw a strike of bright blonde hair walking inside.

I felt scared.

And then I felt envy.

Why his hair are so gorgeous?

I want to have shiny hair!

And long.

And long.

And semi-could-be-wavy-but-really-is-not.

Mine are so straight.

And in my face.

All the time.

I mean,seriously.

Don't they have other business to attend to?

Why must they always be in the middle of my spotless face?

Don't even let me begin on their colour.

Green?

I mean for fuck's shake.

What kind of normal person has green hair?

Not a mentally healthy one.

I can tell you that.

Those hair must be burned.

Burned.

In the ninth layer of Hell.

To infinity.

11:00

I am going to kill him.

Kill him dead.

And when he dies,he will be dead dead.

Like dead.

Utterly and irrevocably dead.

11:02

And then I will become a spirit.

Ghost.

Apparition.

Whatever.

And haunt you to infinity.

Because I am way too cool to be burned in Hell.

11:04

No,you are just a douchebag.

Hell would be way too good for you.

11:05

You are jealous,midget.

11:06

I beg to differ.

11:07

You already differ too much.

You are the one with the green hair.

11:08

I like my hair!

11:09

Not according to this.

11:10

I didn't write that.

11:11

Yes,you did.

11:12

No,I didn't!

11:13

Liar!

11:14

FREAK!

11:15

"DID SOMEONE CALLED ME?"

11:16

Fun is over. Bryan's here.

11:17

I thought he only listened to "Manly sexy beast"

Or anything alike.

11:18

Apparently not.

You know....

I'd choose you over him any day.

11:19

Is that how you show me your true love?

11:20

No,I am just settling for the lesser evil.

11:21

"WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?"

11:22

I am just pretending that you are not here.

By doing this,I do not acknowledge your existence.

It just makes it easier to bear all this madness and abnormality.

11:23

Am I allowed to hug him?

11:24

(huh?)

…...

11:25

Mystel hugged Bryan.

Bryan went like this :-/

Mystel went like this :-D

I went like O_o

May I also mention that having an eye smaller than the other one is weird?

Not that having an eye bigger than the other one is better.

It all sums up to the fact that I am never ever ever again using that face.

That face in my face.

Like a second face.

Something like Twoface.

You know,that evil guy from Batman?

11:31

"I'd totally do Batman"

11:32

No,that wasn't Mystel.

Or Bryan in that case.

It Was Mariah who just walked in with a very big bowl full of apples.

And bananas.

And grapes.

I thought December wasn't a good season for grapes.

AH,well. Who am I to judge the great mind of Mariah,the future Miss Kon?

What's funny is that Ray walked in her tow and immediately had a very dizzy face when she said that. I bet that he has spent many nights (or days) dressed up as Batman trying to satisfy Mariah.

Maybe that's why he has been so busy lately. Or tired. The dude doesn't even have a job,so what else could it be?

I would ask him straight but Lee is always there.

You can't ask such a question in front of your best friend's soon to be brother-in-law.

Now,can you?

Waiiiiiit!

Lee is not here right now.

I will ask.

11:42

I asked.

Mariah looked offended and left.

With the bowl of apples and bananas.

She gave the grapes to Bryan.

Who squeezed them in the top of someone's blonde brain.

Said person almost screamed.

But instead of screaming,he let out a howl.

A very weird wolf howl.

Wasn't his bit-beast an ancient Greek God?

Poseidon? Or something like that?

I know a club named like that.

It's in Greece.

It's not nice.

Don't go.

To the club.

Obviously.

But if you go to Greece,go and bother the tourists.

They look hilarius.

I know I looked so.

It was because of my hair.

The green hair.

Everybody was looking at me like I was a crazy punk.

Or they were looking at Mariah and her very revealing shirt.

Yeah,that could be it.

I am way too small to be noticed.

Yay!

11:41

Or not yay.

We have left the property of my home.

BAI HOME.

I see you laterrrrrrrrr!

Mystel said that.

He is faking a Greek accent now.

You know,liek the one Angelina Jolie had in Alexander?

That.

It sucks.

I want to shut his mouth with something.

11:43

"Kinky!"

11: 44

"Stop looking at my awesome little purple Vaio netbook,Stalin!"

11:45

F!

F!

F!

F!

F!

F!

11:50

Bryan,you bloody excuse for a human being.

12:02 in the pm

AAAAAH.

I CAN'T STAND THEM ANYMORE.

I AM LEAVING.

SEE YA LATER,FOLKS.

* * *

**God. Is there anyone left waiting for this? If you do,I love you. A lot.**


End file.
